Culinary Sense

Adventures with Food and Life

Transitions

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Dear Readers,

it has been a while since my last post. I hope you forgive my absence from this blog – my life has been busy, to say the least. I have gone through changes, transitions, highs and lows. 

I’ve finished my official on-the-ground classes at NECI, and am now looking forward to starting my last internship. I’ll talk about that in later posts, since the details are still unclear. I’ve been in classes, mostly, but also trying to organize the internship. 

Lately, I’ve been hearing “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac – it’s almost like it’s been following me around. I turn the radio in the car on, and it comes on. I listen to Pandora, and it comes on. And of course I love it, since I love the music of the 70s. The deep voice of Stevie Nicks, its warm and haunting timbre, seems to go directly into my heart. I can feel it vibrate in my chest, and I sing along, even though parts of it are too low for me. 

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

These lyrics in particular resonate with me right now, as I am starting the final stage of my education. The final internship is nine months, and will then probably turn into a full-time job for me. I will have to move closer, which probably won’t happen right away, but soon enough for me to start looking at apartments.

Transitions, changes – they are part of my life. It’s a pattern that comes back over and over again. Even though I’m not sure I believe in astrology, many Scorpio themes come up in my life. One theme for Scorpios is death and re-birth, and rising from the ashes like a phoenix. Scorpios feel these changes more deeply than others. Right now, I am in another such change.

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

What does it mean to go through life changes? What does it mean to “grow up”? What does it mean to be/become an adult? 

I have always felt more adult than not. Being a student, however, you are not quite an adult; you will always be treated as a “kid”, a non-expert, someone who needs to be taught, who still needs to find her way. It will be a welcome change to become an “adult” again, to have more control over my life, my choices, how I spend my time, and be respected as an equal at my job, rather than as “just a student”. 

Even though they’re hard and painful, however, I still seem to enjoy feeling deeply during these times of transition. It’s like when you want to listen to a sad song because it gets you more in touch with your sadness. The transformations, for me, are part of the process of living. I am more anxious, and happier, and also sad and a little confused. The emotions feel deeper, more intense. And yet, I seem to relish in them. I draw them out purposefully in order to experience them more fully. 

And really, isn’t that what it’s all about? The intensity of life; emotions, whatever they may be. They remind us we are still here. They keep us going, ever forward, through the fire and the ashes. 

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

This next season, I envision myself coming into my power. I am ready to take on the new challenges. I’m here.

~ Carolynn

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One thought on “Transitions

  1. Love it. I have had serious meditations on “Landslide”, as well. Thanks for posting again!

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